Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 14 seconds

RANDOM THOUGHTS: SOMEONE ASKED IF

Someone asked if I was surprised that Republican Olympia Snowe voted for the Democratic health care plan. I said I didn’t know that but she was great as Cher’s mother in "Moonstruck." ... Rush Lumbaugh had a chance of getting the Nobel Peace Prize. But he failed the drug test. ...
I hadn’t used Microsoft Help for a long time, but I wanted to learn how to prepare a chart in Excel. I discovered that through Microsoft Office Online you can now use the power of the Internet to not find nor understand the solutions that you once couldn’t find or understand on the desktop. … Bank of America has gotten the Halloween spirit. When I logged on to my daughter’s checking account online, the site emitted a blood-curdling scream. I’m sorry, that wasn’t the Web site. It was me. But the local supermarket is really ready. At the checkout, I noticed that it had on sale “The Idiot’s Guide to Body Snatching and Vampirism.” ... When a 45-day suspension was lifted for a first-grader who brought camping utensil to school, I thought how my experience was different. I brought grandfather's Springfield rifle with bayonet to high school as a prop. During the speech, I pointed it at the audience and squeeze the trigger. Nobody said a word to me before or after about the rifle. Of course, we also had two kids arrested for cattle rustling that year. But that could happen anywhere.
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