Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 17 seconds

RANDOM THOUGHTS: BARBIE

The original BarbieThe venerable doll, Barbie, has turned 55. To commemorate, Mattel has issued a special edition with varicose veins and support hose. In the new Barbie Playland, she's hired a private investor to track the philandering Ken, who has been seen at a motel with a much younger doll. Ken gets a surprise prostate exam form his outraged girlfriend.... You know you're getting old when you see the seats reserved for the old and infirm on trains and your picture is posted above them. ... Alzheimers is now the third greatest killer of Americans. I forget what the top two are.

... Every time I hear a parent bragging about their children's dioramas I stop and gives thanks that I went to school before dioramas were popular. I can envision the type of diorama I would have made "Bobby, why do you have Union soldiers in the middle of the line, Revolutionary War soldiers on one end and fighters from the Alamo on the other?" "For support in preventing flanking maneuvers." Besides, I was in 4-H and I had these horrid parents who insisted I had to do all the work on projects myself. .... Somebody recently told me I looked like a Greek God. "Really?" I asked. "Yeah, Pan." ... Last week, I received an email that promised a "Nighttime of endless satisfaction". It was subscription to TV Guide. ... ... A friend was confused when I talked about the new Hobbit movie showing a dragon in Los Angeles. "It's not the 'Desolation of Smog,'" he said. "It's the 'Desolation of Smaug.'"

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