Jimmy Stewart Always fun shopping with your spouse. Mine likes to make fun of my forgetfulness. So after I bought her green tea, she says, "where's the list?" I looked I had put it on the shelf where the tea was stocked. A few minutes later, I'm asking what kind of food to get the grand-dog. "What's on the list?" "I don't know?" as I dug through my stuff. "I don't have it?" I look over as she digs the list out of her bag. "Oh, that list." A few minutes later, she's asking me if I could get chili for Joey. "It's on the prepared aisle." "I couldn't find it." "I'm surprised." I walk to the aisle and pick up two cans of Hormel.

"He said Campbell's and I couldn't' find it." "No, you said chili." I look the next shelf down and pick up two microwavable cans of Campbell's chili. "Like this?" "I don't shop for it so I don't know what it looks like." ... A few minutes later? "Do we have everything on the list?" "I think so," I replied. "What about the milk and orange juice." I look down. "It's not on the list." ... As I'm pushing the cart down the aisle and start laughing, she says, "What are you laughing about? Don't be smug." ... The telemarketers are getting bolder. Yesterday I got a message, "Since you've fallen and can't get up, isn't it a good time to be thinking about final expense insurance." And in the newest version of "It's a Wonderful Life", George Bailey's second visitor, after he wishes he had not been born, is Alex Trebeck. "Since you're considering jumping in the river, isn't it time to protect your love ones against the high cost of funerals," Alex asks. And every time someone buys a policy, another angel gets a residual. ... Utah is considering bringing back firing squads as an alternative to the troubled execution method of lethal method. It turned to guns because it was worried it would be too difficult to make the electric chair handicapped accessible. And besides, lots of people in the west could use the practice. ... Dog lovers plan to hold a bit bull parade in Providence, R.I., after a ban on the breed was lifted in that city. There will be no bands as no one wants to make too much noise around the animals. ... Trying to figure out what Kim Kardashian's nude poise didn't break the Internet? Probably because people in Europe, especially the French, were going, "Big deal". Besides, we have all figured out we can find pictures of attractive naked people on the web with anytime, anywhere access.

Last modified on Friday, 21 November 2014
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