Derek Jacobi, "Claudius"When I made a quip somebody asked, "Is that the truth?" "The truth?" I responded. "The Truth? I can't handle the truth." ... Looking at the array of Starbucks flavors over the last year saw a variety I think that was named after Papua New Guinea with a moth under the name and another called Veranda that had the image of a hummingbird. "Which do you want?" a friend asked. "I'd rather have the coffee with the bird in it than the flavor with the moth in. But to tell the truth, neither sounds very appealing." More recently, there was a Sumatran flavor called "earthy and herbal?"

"Earthy and herbal," my friend queried. "Yeah, I found a clod of dirt with a piece of oregano sticking out of at the bottom of my cup." .... Among the reforms Pope Francis is implementing in the Catholic Church is a proclamation that occupying middle airline seats counts against time in Purgatory. .... I told somebody that the phrase "I Reckon" sounds like the southern country version of "I, Claudius." "Are you the emperor? "I, Claudius. I reckon." ...  In the SyFy channel update, iClaudius, the character of that name, plays the younger brother of R2D2, who pretends to be a bumbling fool to avoid being associated with the level of acting in the Star Wars movies. ... Meanwhile, a recent discovery concludes the Romans had a primitive version of "The Weather Channel" written out on exchanges on papyrus that were posted frequently on walls at the Roman Forum.  "This is Sixtus Sextus with today's weather report from Minimus "Tiny" Maximus. His wife calls him Tiny, don't ask the big guy why. Always a popular number, "woof, woof, woof. So Max, what's the latest? "Well, Sixtus, the Doppler goat entrails readings show a 70-percent chance of rain and a 30-percent chance of barbarian invasion, But from the sounds I'm hearing in the street today, I'm thinking that 30 percent chance was way off. So from now on when your son says he's going to be going Goth, you better take him more seriously. Meanwhile, down in the Coliseum today they, are playing "Who let the lions out?" Back to you Sexy. ... I was asked if had seen the Perseids this year. "No, but I saw them in the '80s opening for the Ramones."

Last modified on Friday, 14 August 2015
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