. Snoop Dogg Photography by Charito YapNow that the election is over, we can look forward to ridiculing the beliefs of people who disagree with us, but on a less-frequent basis. The winner in the mid-term elections this week is clear—television advertising departments. Don’t believe it.

It’s fake news. … Christmas music is starting to be heard in stories and the displays are spreading. There’s only one thing that means—it’s only a short time before we start hearing promotions for Christmas 2020. However, there may be delays in gifts received by children as it’s not clear Santa and the elves will be able to meet new immigration requirements by December 25. The reindeer are being held up in several states for examination for possible invasive parasites. As a fallback, Santa is readying coupons to be made available in McDonald’s happy meals. …Snoop Dogg, not one to be shy, recently did a publicity stunt in which he smoked a blunt in front of the White House. Maybe the president will take notice and provide a more ethereal Thanksgiving Dinner and Easter Egg Roll. On the philanthropic side, plans are being made for the Snoop Dogg-Willie Nelson Cannabis Research Institute to be built somewhere in Colorado.  … After so many problems with execution by injection, several states are considering bringing back the electric chair. However, in a nod towards the environment, the devices will be solar powered. … Progress is being made in combatting flesh-eating bacteria. However, so far scientists have only been able breed a strain that attacks Vegans. Of course, most people know the difference between a vegetarian and Vegan—levels of self-righteousness.

Last modified on Friday, 09 November 2018
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