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Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 27 seconds

RANDOM THOUGHTS: CHRISTMAS SPECIALS

Christmas specials start to dominate the television lineup. In a holiday version of “Flashpoint” the team faces a hostage situation in which a deranged elf holds the reindeer at gunpoint. And “Criminal Minds” pays special tribute to the season with “Who is Killing Santa’s Elves?”
…. GOP presidential candidate Herman Cain is a real gentleman. It was so nice for him to give money to that woman in Atlanta to help pay bills. Actually, it was just a little too late for an invention that could have helped his campaign, the new PermaSeal Zipper. Cain will make the announcement of his intentions at the unfinished Gary Hart presidential library. …. Meanwhile, in the latest installment of “As the Debt Turns”, Europe has once again come up with a solution for its financial woes, maybe, probably, for sure this time, we think, until someone tries to cash a check in Spain. … A husband and wife are being held for their alleged roles in killing a man with a power saw. The husband said it was simply a misunderstanding in the heat of Thanksgiving. His thought his wife said, “Would you please carve the butterball?” You know, mistakes happen. … Archaeologists have translated some Mexican hieroglyphs and found they don’t predict the apocalypse. One of the first to be read said, “Two shirts, no starch.” … Another news story says our smartphones are spying on us. I don’t believe it. I asked mine and it said, “Oh I wouldn’t do that.” I’m a little suspicious, though. It has a buttons that say “eavesdropping” and “video surveillance.” … Just back from Washington D.C. after Thanksgiving and it’s so lovely to see the cherry trees start to blossom. Except that it was November.
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