Paul Reubens as Pee-wee Herman, 1988A study found that fish in Puget Sound are full of drugs such as cocaine and antidepressants. That explains why my depression cleared up after a recent fish dinner in Seattle. At least they cleaned up the mercury a bit. Once, I ate a salmon at it reported I was running a fever.... When I was a kid, my mother used to kill and clean the chickens for dinner, along with the fish that my father caught. It was years later that I realized a woman's place is in the kitchen disemboweling small animals.

... I came into a friend's kitchen recently and he was shouting at a bowl of cereal. "You dumb bowl, you're no good," he said. "Why are you yelling at that," I asked. "I'm sorry," he replied. 'I have IBS, irritable bowl syndrome." ... Initial reviews are good for the movie "Pee-wee's Big Holiday", which is bringing Paul Reubens' character, Pee-wee Herman, back to life. The movie is expected to make money hand over fist and is also expected to be very popular in places where the use of recreational marijuana is legal. .... "And the Jeopardy $200 answer is "March Madness. John, you buzzed in first." "What is the NCAA men's basketball tournament?" 'I'm sorry, that's incorrect. Bob?" "What is the Republican presidential race?" "That's correct for $200." "I'll take 'Animals' for $600." "Outlawed by the Geneva Convention as unnatural." "What is a terducken?" "That's right." ... Speaking of basketball a very important game is coming up—the University of Kentucky Wildcats versus the Indiana University Hoosiers. The losing coach will be executed immediately after the post-game interview. ... A Romanian court has upheld the 2014 conviction of Florin Popescu for bribery for his purchase of 60 tons of packaged, ready-to-fry chickens. The court held voters get plucked so often it was an inhumane act to offer meat as a voting incentive and labeled it 'an extremely fowl act.'

Last modified on Friday, 18 March 2016
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