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RANDOM THOUGHTS-ONSTAR'S LATEST

OnStar's latest feature automatically notifies the driver when a car has been recalled and specifying which part is likely to fail and when. The company will call devices offering this feature the DeathStar model. ... Captain Chesley Sullenberger, who is retiring from the airline business, has been offered a job in the automotive business. His challenge is to see if he can land a Toyota on the Hudson, which seemed the best place for many of the company's cars at the moment.

. .... Someone asked me what I thought of the SEC's proposed restrictions on short sales. I said, "I'm totally opposed to them. Life is tough enough for little people as it is." ...  I finally figured out that Shutter Island is what a Chuck E Cheese would look like after too much cheap wine in a run-down neighborhood. Either that or it’s Disney’s Small World Ride after all the dolls have aged and started suffering dementia.  ... During the Olympics, a Canadian friend told me I was like most Americans and didn't know any words to his country's national anthem. I don't know why he was so offended when I started "I'm a lumberjack and I'm OK." I guess I had known the title was "O, Canada" but few people know that was a narrow choice over the similarly named, "Canada, Eh?" ...  Gun advocates are taking their weapons to Starbucks since the company is not banning them, as some chains have in states that allow public display of unloaded weapons. They have adopted an old Johnny Cash number as their anthem. "Take your guns to town. Don't leave your guns at home Bill." And following the success of the Starbucks efforts, they are urging schools to support the "Take Your Guns to School Day.""If a lot of students had been packing, Columbine would have been over in five seconds," said one supporter. The coffee chain is also offering themed drinks such as A Luger Latte, the Smocha Wesson and the Colt-accino, available in single-shot and six-shot to go packs.

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