Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 23 seconds

RANDOM THOUGHTS: MIKE PENCE

Mike Pence, vice presidential candidateThe guy next door is our neighborhood's angry-old man. A couple of nights ago, he sat in his car in front of his house for hours setting off and silencing the car's alarm system. I didn't start to worry until I found a piece of paper in his garbage can that was filled with the phrase "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy"

... We stopped at a coffee and tea shop in Northampton, Mass., week, which had hundreds of varieties. One of these was "Boston Tea Party". "What's that like?" I asked. "Oh, they throw it in the Boston Harbor and fish it out after a while." ... Last year, I sent a message in a bottle out from the Jersey Shore. This year, unbelievably, I saw what looked like the same bottle on the shore. Excitedly, I picked it up to read the reply. Instead, it said, "Returned for postage due." ... I have reached the magic age where I need a reverse mortgage to pay for my Medicare Supplement plan and guaranteed final expense insurance. ... Officials in Rio de Janeiro swear that the city is ready for the summer Olympics. Just in case, however, Olympics officials have designated one competition the 200-meter back stroke and sewer swim. ... To follow up on his book, "The Art of the Deal", Republican Presidential candidate Donald Trump is writing his own version of "How to Win Friends and Influence People." Meanwhile, Democratic candidate Hilary Clinton has authored "E-mail Security for Dummies". ... Besides the usual presidential debate, there's a plan afoot for Trump to debate his vice presidential candidate, Mike Pence, and Paul Ryan, speaker of the House of Representatives.

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