Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 28 seconds

RANDOM THOUGHTS; MILLIONS

Millions of TV viewers have learned that the noisy vuvuzelas, the horns incessantly blaring at World Cup Soccer games, are a cure for irregularity. It's not a medically recommended practice. It's just something we've all thought about. Meanwhile, there's a new four-door version called the Volvozela, ready to hit the market. It gets less toots per mile.
... I've been having funs with nonsoccer fans who consider the world's most popular sport boring. That's particularly true for baseball afficionados who I tell "Yes, it takes a special gift for people who watch a sport in which there is little action for three hours to find a game boring when it has action for most of its 90 or so minutes. ... While home in Indiana, I find even my friends here react to the young age at which people reproduce. Pondering a photo one commented, It's so nice to finally see great-grandparents who are remotely close to our age." ... TV will soon be the host for the annual "Mel Gibson Tolerance Awards." And the star and his estranged girlfriend, who have filed reciprocal restraining orders against each other, are candidates for the "Charlie Sheen Dysfunctional Relationship Award". ... Senatorial candidate Rand Paul has founded the ASPOC (the American Association for the Prevention of Cruelty to Oil Companies). It's appeal is primarily to people who have received oil company contributions. ... Forgot to mention that while in Amsterdam, we saw something New Yorkers rarely experience, English-speaking cabbies. In a new cable show, contestants meet the cast of Dog the Bounty Hunger and Operation Repo to see which group they'd least like to have as next-door neighbors. And finally Reality TV will get down to basics with a new offering called, "Dumb Enough to Do Anything." The format is wide open.
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