Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 11 seconds
RANDOM THOUGHTS: AFTER BP
After BP capped the well in the gulf of Mexico, apparently halting the flow of oil into the water, Americans waited breathlessly to see if Democrats have successfully capped vice president Joseph Biden's mouth. ... Much of the nation has been under a record heat wave this week. “How hot was it?” (Thank you class). It was so hot I saw a robin microwaving a warm to cool it office. It was so hot the possums in Indiana would only play dead on shaded roads. It was so hot a couple of Republican Congressmen said there might be something to global warming.
... The Cincinnati airport displayed some local wares, including chocolate covered pralines under the names "Cow Patties" and "Pig Poop". I'm sure the Chamber of Commerce has a banner's proclaiming "Cincinnati, Proud Home of Pig Poop." There's a new line coming out called "Buzzard Vomit." (This all sounds like a Monty Python sketch). ... Back home in Indiana I was catching up on all the gossip, who got married, who had children, who’s out on good behavior. But you know how it is, you get announcements from distant relatives that are really asking for cash. The usual, birthdays, weddings, bail money. ... Today's Jeopardy excerpt: "I'll take Racist Idiots for $400." "And the answer is, 'Despicable Me." "Who is Mel Gibson?" "I'll take the alphabet for $600." "The answer is 'BP'." "What company caused the unfortunate death of Big Bird?"
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