Someone who did know about the alluring Kardashian sisters remarked on learning the truth "I thought that Kardashian was brand of carpet." "No," I responded. "But they’re easier to lay." … The airports have lanes at the gates for "Passengers with special needs". I just couldn't convince representatives from Continental that I have a special need for long vacations with free air fare.

… Chicago's O'Hare Airport has a sign for an "Animal Relief Area." We had those when I was growing up. But we called them bar parking lots. … Earlier this month my daughter had two wisdom teeth extracted. This week, my wife had a gingivectomy There's been so much oxycodone here it looks like Rush Limbaugh's house. If anybody else here has serious dental surgery, we're going to end up on a DEA watch list. My wife said, "It’s been an hour since I took one, is that why I feel, uh, so?" "So hammered?" I responded. "You probably shouldn't operate any heavy equipment. In fact, I’d say right now, you probably wouldn’t recognize most heavy equipment." She seems to lack a certain amount of life experience. … In light of the current economic climate, the latest reality show will be called, "Survivor, Wall Street." ... There was a proposal to balance out "Labor Day" with a new holiday called "Management Day." But then the proponents realized that already exists. They are called golf outings. ... I knew the egg recall was getting bad when a local supermarket posted a sign, "Warning, Biohazard" in front of the egg section. Then a waiter at a diner said, "That will be extra without the salmonella." Last modified on Sunday, 16 June 2013
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Bob Scott

Bob Scott has been informing and entertaining the mid-market financial software community with his email newsletters for 10 years. And he has been covering this market through print publications for 18 years, first as technology editor of Accounting Today and then as the Editor of Accounting Technology from 1997 through 2009. He has covered the traditional tax and accounting profession during the same time and continues to address that as executive editor of the Progressive Accountant.

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