Life makes it increasingly difficult to be funny. As I approached the philosophy book section at Barnes & Noble, I mused what a good joke it would be to say there was an "Existentialism for Dummies."  got much closer - there it was.  Besides if you want something that's too unbelievable to parody, just look at the books in the "New Age" shelves. …
Wouldn't you know it? I looked at the shelf as IThere are a couple of different takes on Kate Middleton, who is marrying Price William. “People" headlined her as "A Perfect Princess." Another newsstand mag talked about her "Wild Nights of Drinking at Clubs." I suppose those two things aren't mutually exclusive. … I’ve come up with the antidote for impulse buying. I call it "repulse buying" -- the thought of spending money makes me sick. …. I told someone I had a very touching experience at Thanksgiving. "You spent time with your family and friends?" "No, I went through airport security." Actually, I don't object to TSA employees seeing X-Ray images of my body. I want them to suffer. Besides, how much more indignity can they inflict? Have you ridden coach lately?  … When my wife and I were finishing a meal at the local diner, she looked at me and asked, "What's the Tip?" I replied, "It's the money you leave to reward good service. But that’s another story." And don't call me, Shirley. Leslie Nielsen, RIP. (I don't know why she gets so mad at me.)
Last modified on Sunday, 16 June 2013
Read 1072 times
Rate this item
(0 votes)
Tagged under

Visit other PMG Sites:

PMG360 is committed to protecting the privacy of the personal data we collect from our subscribers/agents/customers/exhibitors and sponsors. On May 25th, the European's GDPR policy will be enforced. Nothing is changing about your current settings or how your information is processed, however, we have made a few changes. We have updated our Privacy Policy and Cookie Policy to make it easier for you to understand what information we collect, how and why we collect it.
Ok Decline