Random Thoughts

Random Thoughts (346)

RANDOM THOUGHTS: KIM AND HORTON

Kim KardashianHorton, separated at birth?Hands free phones have disrupted the pattern of life by making it difficult to detect the crazy people. We have to make more noise to stand out. ... There's a new set of wedding vows making the rounds that is appropriate for the modern era. It ends with "You must accept terms and conditions." ... A coffee store at Newark Airport offers something labeled a "Taste of Fall." I ordered it and got a cup of cider with one red and one brown maple leaf floating in it.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: WILLIE NELSON

Willie NelsonA restaurant in my hotel in Alexandria, Va., offers something called Amish chicken, which refers to how it's dressed—white shirt, black pants and jacket and a panama hat. I was more baffled by the cast iron cod. Sounds tough on the teeth. ... Many of the sessions at Thomson Reuters' Synergy conference are on the same floor as those of the Society for Inmmunotherapy of Cancer. Several member of the SITC mistakenly sat in tax classes and had to be treated for second- and third-degree boredom.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: CYRANO

Halloween can be dangerous. "Are you Cyrano de Bergerac or Pinocchio?" I asked one person at a party. "Oh, that's not a mask. Sorry?" ... Ordered from the senior breakfast at a local restaurant. It's not food for old people—they make the meals from old chickens and old pigs. ... I figured out why the White Rabbit in "Alice in Wonderland" was late. He forgot to set his clock forward in the Spring.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: KING

Larry KingBoth ComCast and TimeWarner shareholders have now approved their companies' merger. The new slogan will be "We will assimilate you. Resistance is futile." ... You have to feel for my wife. She's the daughter of, spouse of and mother of an only child. ... I guess we won't be seeing that long awaited "Seventh Heaven Reunion" now. It's looking about as likely now as a "Bonanza" reunion. ... Put my cellphone through the washing machine recently. Can somebody tell me if it's warm wash/cold rinse or cold wash/cold rinse? Might have made a difference. I'm thinking this is what we're looking forward to as wearable devices become more prevalent.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: MILEY'S BATH

Miley CyrusMiley Cyrus, currently the queen of uninhibited performance, recently released selfies taken while she was in the bath and shower. Let’s hope this does not start a trend. Next thing, we’ll have pictures of politicians in the bath all over the place. Anthony Weiner, where are you?  Well, I suppose it beats watching her kissing a hammer and swinging on a wrecking ball.  Miley is also likely to win a contract for endorsing certain inflatable toys, given a recent appearance in Latin America.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: N.J.'S CHRIS CHRISTIE

Gov. Chris ChristieThe theater in my hometown, which plays less than first runs, is playing “How to Train Your Dragon 2”. Coming next is the far less successful and messier “How Not to Train Your Dragon”, a more disgusting affair. … The weight the New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie has lost will be assembled and chosen as his vice presidential running mate in 2016. Well, there should be enough … It was so inspiring to see the Christmas decorations on sale in Lowe’s last week. It just put me in the holiday spirit. They could lengthen this and have festive banner proclaiming “Christmas Every Day”. (Apologies to Franz Kafka.)

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: THE FIGHTING PALINS

Sarah PalinNoticed on TV a heavy focus on the Amish. We’ve had “The Amish Mafia”, “Escaping Amish” and “Amish Out of Order.” Coming soon Is “Amish the Next Generation.” “Ay, Captain Schwartz; set the horses for maximum power and head for the nearest herb store.”  …. There’s a similar fascination on reality TV with Alaska. So there is “Escaping Alaska”, “Alaska State Troopers”, and “Alaska, the Last Frontier.”

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: JENNIFER LAWRENCE

Jennifer LawrenceMost people would say “You don’t know what you don’t know” I find in most cases it’s “You don’t know what you do know.” An important thought to ponder. … Someone pointed out a picture I posted on Facebook was the head of a frog. That was a relief. I had thought my search for the nude photos of actress Jennifer Lawrence had gone horribly wrong. By the way, with all the brouhaha (ha, ha, ha, ha) about the pictures of Lawrence, it would help the box office if actors in the next episode of "The Hunger Games" played their roles naked. It would certainly eliminate the unfair advantage of people carrying concealed weapons.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: MILEY'S BATHING SUIT

Miley CyrusUnited Airline’s slogan is still “Fly the Friendly Skies.” I think the friendly skies were when I could get a pillow, blanket and free meal on a flight. Given the size of the seats, the skies are more like a country in need of U.N. peacekeepers. …. In Britain, archaeologists this month announced a major find buried under the Stonehenge monument—Jimmy Hoffa’s body. … Glad to see Miley Cyrus back in the news wearing a fur bathing suit.  The photos of her in the cut-away, fuzzy blue outfit suggests the primary fur used was beaver.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: MARK HAMMILL

Mark Hammill, The main question about the upcoming “StarWars, Episode VII” is whether Mark Hammill, who plays Luke Skywalker, has learned to act over these years. But it turns out, there’s no worry. After hearing him deliver his lines, a reincarnated, Darth Vader declares, “Luke, I am not your father, no way” and falls on his light saber. There have also been petitions to ensure that Carrie Fisher does not done the skimpy outfit she wore while being chained to Jabba the Hutt, who also signed.  In a tragic turn of events, a writer who suggested bringing back the character of Jar Jar Binks, was beaten to death by angry movie executives.

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