Random Thoughts

Random Thoughts (697)


Justin BieberIn the latest episode of "Leave it to Bieber", Ward counsels the Biebe on how to beat a breathalyzer test. Noted that Justin adopted the Mel Gibson School of DUI approach to having his mug shot taken. And Justin is now in the running for this year's "Lindsay Lohan Life-time Achievement Award." .... Read a promising article that said Phillip Morris would product a medical marijuana cigarette. I was very disappointed that it turns out it was a satirical story. I had already put a call into my prescription plan to see if it was covered.



Darrin (Dick York), I was thinking of going back to school to work on my groundbreaking thesis “Bewitched: Contrasting the world view of the two Darrins.” It explores the deep philosophical differences of two different actors, Dick York and Dick Sargent, married to the same witch. …  Despite all the filters, I keep getting these offers in my email. One promises, “Keep your wife happy tonight.” I was thinking, “What, they’ll provide someone to do the dishes?” … News organizations are carrying news about a shortage of Velveeta shortage. The lack of a key ingredient for dip for nachos could potentially derail Super Bowl festivities across the country. By the way, Velveeta is officially a “Pasteurized Recipe Cheese Product". I learned that in the Rosetta Stone “Language of Cheese” Volume I.  It takes skill to navigate through a supermarket with terms like cheese, cheese food, processed cheese and food-like cheese and finally, slightly yellow saw dust with milk. … The nice thing about the spread of cell phone headsets is it helps those of us who talk to ourselves a lot to blend in better. … Glad to see the economy is improving. Last year, it was so bad members of the Publishers Clearing House Prize patrol asked if I could spot them some money. … New Jersey Governor Chris Christie says he was embarrassed and humiliated to discover aides had lied to him about their role in creating a traffic mess in Fort Lee as political punishment for the city’s mayor.  Embarrassed and Humiliated? I thought that was our state’s motto.  …  Life is like a box of chocolates; if you leave it out in the hot sun too long, it melts into an unrecognizable mess.



Bill de Blasio, New York CityMary had a little lamb. Its fleece was white as snow. And everywhere that Mary went, mint jelly was sure to go. It followed her to school one day and steak knives were generously provided to all the children. ... The year started off on a realistic note - I saw Alex Trebek trying to sell final expenses insurance to the New Year's baby of 2014. "It goes by quicker than you think."



Rudolph and ClariceFormer Illinois Governor Rod Blogoyevich has filed what is viewed as a last-ditch appeal of his prison term for corruption. Even more galling to Blago than the 14-year sentence is that he has been forced to endure a number of bad-hair days. ... The news that the formerly powerful uncle of North Korea's president Kim Jong-un has been executed shook up some people. And you thought your family reunions were testy. Well, I bet his family won't be sending Christmas cards to the president. Apparently, the president felt insulted when his late uncle referred to him as "Lil' Kim". ... Was looking at outdoor Christmas displays at Home Depot. There's a two-to-three foot-tall figure of Yoda, fixed up with bulbs and a light saber, for sale.



Lucy and DesiSang in the chorus of the Mozart opera “La Clemenza di Tito” a week ago and it triggered the creative juices in me. I am writing the opera “I Love Lucy.” In the opening recitative, Ricky Ricardo (Desi) sings “Lucy, I’m Home”, followed by his plaintive aria “Who Wears the Pants in This Family?”  Later, Lucy rhapsodizes, "Alas, I have created confusion. Who shall save me?" while the chorus, led by singers playing neighbors, Fred and Ethel, sing, "It's a mess, mess, mess. It's a mess." 



Peter Townshed, Roger DaltreyThe Who is going to tour, although whether its fiftieth anniversary tour will be its last is subject to different info coming from members Roger Daltrey and Peter Townshend. The last will surely be the nursing home show. Of course, their song, "My Generation" now has a new meaning. Another hit will be updated as "The Bedpan Wizard". The Rolling Stones will join their English colleagues and fine tune their landmark hit to say "I can't get no satisfaction, nor much of anything else anymore, without my meds."



James TaylorI plan to download that new recording of James Taylor singing the National Anthem: "Oh beautiful for, wait a minute, Oh say can you see by the dawn's early, delivery truck, oh no, light." In a duet, Carole King will respond, "When you're down and out and you need a helping hand." ,,, TV movie channels are showing classic horror films in the build up to Halloween. In real life, many of the terrifying situations would be easily solved. For "Scarecrow", I'm thinking a couple of shots of Roundup would do the trick and in "Children of the Corn" some doses of Ritalin would have quickly defused tense situations. 

In a remake of "Halloween", actress Jamie Lee Curtis, in a reprise of her breakout role, takes care of her horrific stalker by giving him some Activia which makes him more regular and puts him in a better mood. ... I've got to stop shopping at both Walmart and K-mart. My Martha Stewart drapes and bedding from K-Mart attacked my Duck Dynasty gear from Walmart and ejected it from the house. ... I'm a bit suspicious of the healthcare website. It asked me "Does it hurt when you do this?" I answered "Yes" and it replied "then don't do this." ... Democrats have set up a haunted house in D.C. One of the scariest exhibits is a character dressed as Vice President Joe Biden running for president. Then there's the healthcare website ride. The lines are long because they keep having to stop and restart it.



Ben SteinThere's a news item giving Ben Stein's four lessons from the government shut down. They are "Your started it", "No, you did", "Did not", "Do so." ... Stein is probably not going to get invited to the annual Tea Party Guru Appreciation Dinner. He says taxes are too low to support the services we already have. But he has recommended that the next time this happens both sides get sent to their rooms without supper.



Jimmy HoffaThe xero and five Giants football team has been officially declared a disaster area. New Yorkers are demanding the team, which has played in the Meadowlands in New jersey for decades, be named the Jersey Giants. There have been alternate suggestions that authorities mount another search for the body of former teamster leader, Jimmy Hoffa, in the playing field and bury the team while the ground is open.



Michael DouglasMichael Douglas and wife, Katherine Zeta Jones, who appeared headed for divorce, have apparently decided to salvage their marriage. I guess she had second thoughts after he scolded her and gave her a tongue lashing. Or something like that. ... I had this vision that after Douglas revealed the origin of his throat cancer that a movie was made about his life. But instead of recovering, the character in the movie dies.


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