Random Thoughts

Random Thoughts (686)

RANDOM THOUGHTS: ALEX TREBEK

Alex Trebeck, JeapordyI think emcee Alex Trebek’s other interests in selling insurance are sneaking into the TV quiz show, “Jeopardy.” I was watching the other night when I heard a contest say, “Thanks, Alex. I’ll have Final Expenses for $300”. “And the answer is ‘Costs less than 35 center a day.’” “Question: What is insurance from the Colonial Penn?” “Yes, and insurance from the Colonial Penn is a perfect gift for Mother’s Day.” Read more...

RANDOM THOUGHTS: CAPTAIN JOHN SMITH

Captain John SmithThe menu at the restaurant in Manhattan we visited this week features something called “Amish chicken.” “Amish chicken?” a friend said. “Yeah, they serve it with a little round hat, a black jacket and a board.” … News from China is that nation has broken up a ring that was selling rat meat and meat from other small animals as mutton. Apparently, in China, Chuck E. Cheese is not just a mascot, but is on the menu. Read more...

RANDOM THOUGHTS: LORD OF THE RINGS

eyeofsauronThere’s a new musical version of “Lord of the Rings” planned for next year. In the opening act, the wizard Gandalf sings a snappy “You’re getting to be a hobbit with me.” The evil lord Sauron croons, "I love Mordor in the springtime" and the romantic "I only have an eye for you."  But everyone's plans are thwarted when, during the long quest, Frodo runs out of money and has to pawn the ring of power to pay for a hotel room that will accept hobbits. Read more...

RANDOM THOUGHTS: HELLO KITTY

hello kittyWhen I got in the car I looked down at the brake and shouted. “You’re no good, You’re worthless. I don’t know why you exist.” My friend said, “Why are you yelling at the brake?.” “Well, it says depress the brake to start the car.” … Last week when I was in Manhattan, I saw two people in head to toe dress as big feet (as opposed to big foots?) outfits walking the street. It was a marketing pitch for a podiatrist. Read more...

RANDOM THOUGHT: ANNETTE FUNICELLO

LAnnette Funicelloet us pause to remember a woman who aroused strong passions and a loyal following and had an immense impact on a generation. Of course, I'm talking about Annette Funicello. Mouse ears were flown at half staff. I hear Margaret Thatcher also died this week… I’m always interested in linguistic overkill.  In Orlando, Fla., a tearful Mickey Mouse tried to sing, "M I C K E Y. Why? because you loved you" but was overcome with grief.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: LAUREL AND HARDY

Laurel & HardyAfter tiring of watching the reruns of various murder/detective series, I decided that we need to combine the best elements of many reality shows, like "World’s Dumbest” and “Shark Week.” But all I could come up with was “World’s Dumbest Sharks.” I think it needs some work … Scott’s First Principle of Bureaucracy: Paperwork expands to fill available time. … I decided to watch “Interview with the Vampire” last night, but I’m not sure what people see with it. Read more...

RANDOM THOUGHTS: BULLFIGHTING

BullfightingI’ve always tried to maintain a positive mental attitude and I believe I have succeeded. Most people are convinced I’m mental. … The “Huffington Post” showed a photo of celebrity Britney Spears in a tiny two-piece bikini. However, given some of Spears’ photos of a few years ago, the mystery is sort of gone. Read more...

RANDOM THOUGHTS: VIEWS OF NEW ORLEANS

blue manNew Orleans time? The St. Patrick’s Day parade started at 6 p.m. far away and was expected along Decatur Street. I waited, ate dinner and gave up at 7:30. Headed back after 9 and it was still moving through Bourbon Street. …At 6:15 pm: behind me two people supported a guy who was being violently sick on the crowded sidewalk. In most towns, the cops would arrive. Instead, a guitarist sympathized, “Brother, I know how you feel.” …. … A man whose outfit and beard made him look like a member of the Hogwarts faculty was playing the glass harmonica (Varying sizes glasses and water levels to produce musical tones) on Jackson Square.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: HUGO CHAVEZ

 Hugo ChavezHow many Congress people does it change a light bulb? No one knows. They haven’t been able to get it done. Meanwhile, a plume of black smoke issuing from the capital building signaled the legislators’ latest inability to come to a financial agreement. However, there is hope: leaders of both houses were seen standing in line to buy tickets for the latest Powerball drawing. Read more...

RANDOM THOUGHTS: DENNIS RODMAN

Dennis Rodman's visit to North Korea, where he declared the country’s leader is a friend for life, reminds me of the end of the movie "Men in Black" in which it is revealed that Rodman is an alien. "Rodman? You're kidding," says Linda Fiorentino's character, Elle. "Nope," Will Smith's character responds. "Not much of a disguise," Elle says. Then Kim Jong Un said he would nuke the United States. But in a friendly way. Read more...

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