Charlie Sheen made a lot of news after checking into rehab after cavorting with five adult film stars and a brief case full of white powder.  But his gift card is still good for IHOP (International House of Prostitution). And he's just being frugal, taking a lesson from the squirrels; He’d been storing his nuts for the winter.

The Annual Anorexia Awareness dinner dance is coming up in Northern New Jersey this month. There will be a light, very light, meal, and the floor won’t be very crowded, no matter how many people are on it..  There was a plan to have a joint event with the bulimics The sponsors figured they’d only need half the food but called it off when it was realized they’d need twice the number of bathrooms. The picnic outing with the agoraphobics has been postponed indefinitely ... The FBI has arrested 127 mobsters in the Northeast. As a result, garbage collection in New York and New Jersey has been suspended until further notice Read more...