Random Thoughts

Random Thoughts (682)

RANDOM THOUGHTS: GANDALF

Ian McKellen as GandalfInteresting to see a couple of 11-year olds at the local convenience store wearing tie-dyed Woodstock themed t-shirts. "Oh, did your grandparents attend?" I asked. The Woodstock generation has gone from songs like "I Can't Get No Satisfaction" to "I think I remember what it was like being satisfied."

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: STEVE BANNON

Steve Bannon, by Gage SkidmoreThe classic game operation—in which contestants attempt to "remove" parts of the body—has been updated. Now, not only does the buzzer sound if the player touches the side of the game board, but the cost of their malpractice insurance rises dramatically.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: NORTH KOREA

Kim Jong-un, North Korean LeaderI am happy to announce the latest Scott contribution to technology, artificial stupidity. It joins my previously announced ground breaking concept of fog computing, which is for people who are not in the cloud, but are in a fog.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: RESTING

Random Thoughts is taking the week off because of summer heat and the need to deal with a bad knee. Back next week.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: OLE MISS COACH

Hugh Freeze, University of MississippiThe sequel to the famed Star Trek episode, "The Trouble with Tribbles" takes a troubling dramatic turn after the rapidly multiplying furry creatures successfully cross breed with porcupines. Hundreds about the Enterprise are injured.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: TRUMP JR.

Donald Trump Jr.My knees are heading into the final sunset and I am looking for new ones. I found one facility that seemed affordable. But my wife was suspicious of the place—Fred's Knee Replacement and Oil Change Centers. Fred's advertising slogan is "We fill your every Kneed."

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: LESLIE ODOM

Leslie Odom, former There was to be high-level food at the conference I was to attend. "How do you feel about foie gras and caviar? Do they have pigs in a blanket?" I replied. "Are we going to Dennys?" .... What happens in Las Vegas stays there burned to a crisp at 117 degrees.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: SESSIONS

Jeff Sessions, attorney generalThe fiftieth anniversary of the release of "The Beatles" groundbreaking album, Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Heart Club Band" is being updated with the release of Sergeant Pepper's Assisted Living Band". It features remakes the album's songs including "I wish I was 64 again", "I'm Fixing a Hole and I Can't Get Up" and "Lovely Rita, Crossing Guard."

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: STAR TREK'S DATA

Brent Spiner, Star Trek's DataThere's a sign on a street in Boonton, N.J., the next town over, warning "Heavy Pedestrian Crossing." Hey, why should they get special treatment? ... Just back from the SAP Sapphire conference in Orlando, Fla. Florida, many may not know, is not from Spanish as widely believed, but actually is a corruption of an old Native American word meaning "Giant Sinkhole".

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RANDOM THOUGHTS--FOX'S O'REILLY

Bill O'Reilly, TV CommentatorA Montana State University professor sued Wal-Mart for libel alleging an employee at the Bozeman store listed his occupation on a fishing license as a "toilet cleaner." I don't know. Given the minds of some students he deals with, the other occupation probably covers some of the territory.

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