Random Thoughts

Random Thoughts (690)

RANDOM THOUGHTS: BRIAN WILLIAMS

Brian Williams, NBBThe Grand Hyatt Hotel in San Antonio has this sign on guest floors: "Be considerate of other guest between 10 pm. and 6 am." I guess you can treat them like dirt the rest of the time. ... This announcement was made on an American Airlines flight as I was traveling back from San Antonio. "If there's anything we can do to make you more comfortable, you can ask. But don't kid yourself. We can't." (OK, so I added some words.)

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: SUPERBOWL

SUPERBOWL"He's got a bad case of metal illness," I commented about someone to a friend. "You mean mental illness!" "No, I mean metal. He's as dense as a block of lead." ... January has been declared National Flu month this year. Oh, you mean there's nothing unusual about that?. ... Panasonic has introduced a new breadmaker with gluten free-baking mode. It comes in two editions, standard and pious.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: CHRISTINE AGUILERA

Christine Aguilera United Airlines drew the wrath of the Twittersphere after pictures were tweeted of a dog in a cage left in the pouring rain on the tarmac. We shouldn't spend a lot of time putting this issue in the spotlight. It will give the airlines ideas for how to treat people in coach. I envision a new class of cheap fares of "slightly impaired vision" seats. ... I ran into problems in trying to buy Christmas tree ornaments.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: ALYSSA MILANO

Alyssa MilanoMany people think coal in the stocking is the sign of a bad Christmas. A bad Christmas is one in which the thing you find in your stocking is a foot. ... A photograph this week of actress Alyssa Milano in a see-through dress is sort of like seeing a wet t-shirt competition in which it was not necessary to actually use water. Thought for a minute it was part of public service announcement for La Leche League.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: FROSTY THE SNOWMAN

Frosty the SnowmanIt used to be life at home came to a halt when we were out of milk, bread or sugar. Now, it comes to a halt when we are out of toner. The St. Bernard just recently arrived with black toner cartridges from Staples. ... Someone noted that the use of the phrase "hoisted on your own petard" is in decline. That's petards just aren't what they used to be. In the old days, you'd get 50 or 60 hoists per petard. Now you're lucky to get two or three .... My wife says I have a soft spot "In your heart?" "No on my head."

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: GEORGE BAILEY

Jimmy Stewart Always fun shopping with your spouse. Mine likes to make fun of my forgetfulness. So after I bought her green tea, she says, "where's the list?" I looked I had put it on the shelf where the tea was stocked. A few minutes later, I'm asking what kind of food to get the grand-dog. "What's on the list?" "I don't know?" as I dug through my stuff. "I don't have it?" I look over as she digs the list out of her bag. "Oh, that list." A few minutes later, she's asking me if I could get chili for Joey. "It's on the prepared aisle." "I couldn't find it." "I'm surprised." I walk to the aisle and pick up two cans of Hormel.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: KIM AND HORTON

Kim KardashianHorton, separated at birth?Hands free phones have disrupted the pattern of life by making it difficult to detect the crazy people. We have to make more noise to stand out. ... There's a new set of wedding vows making the rounds that is appropriate for the modern era. It ends with "You must accept terms and conditions." ... A coffee store at Newark Airport offers something labeled a "Taste of Fall." I ordered it and got a cup of cider with one red and one brown maple leaf floating in it.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: WILLIE NELSON

Willie NelsonA restaurant in my hotel in Alexandria, Va., offers something called Amish chicken, which refers to how it's dressed—white shirt, black pants and jacket and a panama hat. I was more baffled by the cast iron cod. Sounds tough on the teeth. ... Many of the sessions at Thomson Reuters' Synergy conference are on the same floor as those of the Society for Inmmunotherapy of Cancer. Several member of the SITC mistakenly sat in tax classes and had to be treated for second- and third-degree boredom.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: CYRANO

Halloween can be dangerous. "Are you Cyrano de Bergerac or Pinocchio?" I asked one person at a party. "Oh, that's not a mask. Sorry?" ... Ordered from the senior breakfast at a local restaurant. It's not food for old people—they make the meals from old chickens and old pigs. ... I figured out why the White Rabbit in "Alice in Wonderland" was late. He forgot to set his clock forward in the Spring.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: KING

Larry KingBoth ComCast and TimeWarner shareholders have now approved their companies' merger. The new slogan will be "We will assimilate you. Resistance is futile." ... You have to feel for my wife. She's the daughter of, spouse of and mother of an only child. ... I guess we won't be seeing that long awaited "Seventh Heaven Reunion" now. It's looking about as likely now as a "Bonanza" reunion. ... Put my cellphone through the washing machine recently. Can somebody tell me if it's warm wash/cold rinse or cold wash/cold rinse? Might have made a difference. I'm thinking this is what we're looking forward to as wearable devices become more prevalent.

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