Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 27 seconds

RANDOM THOUGHTS; POLITICAL PARTIES

Political parties and their philosophies are clearly outlined in their attitudes towards Christmas. Democrats wanted to give Santa bailout money and supported the right to unionize by the UBOE (United Brotherhood of Elves.)  They also urged Santa to stop using toys made by poorly paid far-Eastern child labor. Republicans condemned the old man as an example of Socialism and called an investigation of the source of Santa’s funds.
Democrats denounced Ebenezer Scrooge as an exploiter. Conservatives pointed to him as an example of private enterprise in action and proposed tax breaks to stimulate job production. In a modern version of the Dickens “Christmas Carol”, Scrooge gets wage concessions from Bob Crachit after threatening to move his operations to Mexico. Crachit has to take another job as a greeter at WalMart to help pay Tiny Tim’s medical bills.… A sales team that missed its goal of increasing revenue by 4 percent didn’t get to go to Hawaii. But because they did grow sales by 2 percent they were rewarded with a junket to Fargo, N.D., That explains all those trips to Fargo by Great Plains resellers. … There’s a new law being proposed to control childhood obesity, it’s known as the “No Child’s Behind Left Law.” … I’m really behind on the times. Someone asked me, “Have you seen Angry Birds?” I told them, “No but I’ve run into some pretty irritated ones.” … A Christmas-time news item reported there have been fewer executions in the United States because of the cost of drugs for lethal injection and the overall expense of capital punishment. I think this would could be outsourced to some of the Christian militias to give them target practice and something to justify their existence.
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