Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 27 seconds


Christine Aguilera United Airlines drew the wrath of the Twittersphere after pictures were tweeted of a dog in a cage left in the pouring rain on the tarmac. We shouldn't spend a lot of time putting this issue in the spotlight. It will give the airlines ideas for how to treat people in coach. I envision a new class of cheap fares of "slightly impaired vision" seats. ... I ran into problems in trying to buy Christmas tree ornaments.

I asked the clerk at Home Depot "Do you have frosted balls?" "That's an awfully personal question," he snapped back. ... Got a note from Santa that he had to curtail his visit to the area because of insurance woes. He was turned down for life insurance because he is overweight, a smoker and engaged in hazardous travel. He also was cited for flying an unlicensed vehicle by the FAA. However, he said Alex Trebek had offered him a deal on final expenses insurance. ... Former Mickey Mouse club star, Christine Aguilera reportedly cursed the Supreme Rodent in a recent Disney World visit. Apparently, the pop singer has developed an extreme allergy to mice which cause her to break out into involuntary invectives. "Do you know who I am?" she asked told Mickey. "Yes, I made you and I can break you" threatening to tell thousands of visiting grade school kids that Aguilera had dissed their favorite character. Mickey ended with "Never mess with the Big Cheese." ..,. Across the nation, grief counselors are in training as sports fans prepare the playoffs, and then face the letdown when fans realize there is no football for months after the Super Bowl. ... The catch political phrase for the next year won't be "No new taxes." It will be no new Karddashians. .

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