Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 28 seconds


Scientists have discovered recently that bees love cannabis and hope hemp could help restore bee populations. The major problem is finding a way to keep the insects from flying around aimlessly after visiting the plants.

… A man was recovering this from a rare face and hand transplant. Unfortunately doctors accidentally reversed the process and now he has to pick up things with his head and blow his hands. … Puxsutawney Phil performed his duties as usual with the groundhog purportedly seeing  shadow. QAnon supporters immediately charged the real Phil died when a snow tunnel collapse and a groundhog body double filled in. Meanwhile,  QAnon member, Republican Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene called on the United States to increase the budget for the Space Force to fight the zombies recruited by the Chinese and the Russians.  She also claimed Santa’s elves are really children exploited by Democrats and the Hidden government… This year’s running of the bulls was called off in Pamplona because of the COVID-19 pandemic.  However, there was running replete with virtual gorings. … Many have heard the story that the Protestant Reformation was kicked off when Martin Luther tacked a list of theses to a church door in Germany. It turned out the start of the reformation was actually delayed by two years because every time Luther would nail his list to the door, the janitor took them down, cursing about vandals. There was no progress until a less dedicated janitor forgot to take them down one day and religious history was made. … Space X is taking nominations for people to be sent to Mars. Some of us were wondering if we can nominate people we don’t like and if they have to know about it.

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