Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 34 seconds

RANDOM THOUGHTS: SPIDERMAN

spidermanIn the upcoming film, "Spiderman, The Later Years", Spidey plunges to death when his faltering ability to generate new strands of web fails him as he swings between skyscrapers. One of his progeny says sadly, "It was his hearing that killed him. We told him not to go up anymore. He thought we said he can't get it up anymore and just laughed." His children, split between those with spider powers and those without, debate traditional burial or wrapping him in silk and sucking the body dry.

A family reunion ends with a series of blows and vicious bites. ... And in the final episode of another long franchise, "Rocky 23", the aged puncher, instead of punching a side of beef, proposes to it. ... Just remembering when I was in high school and the science publication filled us with dreams of a wonderful world with flying cars and TVs with 500 channels. Who would have thought that 15 of the channels would have been about hair supplies; five, about bras; two, vacuum cleaners; and a whole bunch of different ways to sell junk or live in the wild. I take it we're not getting the flying car anytime soon. ... Sitting here in the coffee shop listening to the beautiful theme from "Titanic, "This song will go on and on and on...." Oh, it's my heart will go on? Sorry. ... I think I'm getting confused with age. I recently told a friend "I have a secret, but if I tell you I'll have to kill myself. Wait a minute, that doesn't sound right." A friend of a similar age said he was subject to incontinence. I asked him 'What does geography have to do with this?'" ... Every time I visit Southern Indiana, I remember that my New Jersey-born daughter refers to it as "The land of fat people and drive-ins." Looking around the restaurant, I'm beginning to see the point.

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