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John Calipari, University of KentuckyGiven the way the University Kentucky college basketball team has dominated competitors, it has been decided its next opponent will be the New York Knicks. If the Wildcats win the NCAA championship and establish a historic record of 40 wins and no defeats in the regular season and the tourney, U.K. coach John Calipari will be offered the role of emperor of the Commonwealth of Kentucky. That move, however, could produce conflict with the other claimant to the throne, University of Louisville coach Rick Petino.

... Was looking at one of the latest Yahoo lists "Ten actors you've never heard of and don't care about." .. The rock band, "Black Sabbath" has announced its very last tour, ever, at least until next time. Meanwhile, given the ages of its members, the group is considering performing under the name "Gray Sabbath". Lead singer, Ozzy Osbourne, could not be reached for comment. Many microphones were placed to pick up his words, but members of the media agreed he still could not be reached for comment. ... Tunisia has assured fans that the Tatouine area that was the scene of Stars Wars filming is safe from attacks by Islamic militants. Luke Skywalker was reported under heavy guard and the Tunisians were activity recruiting a new cadre of Jedi and ordering the latest light sabers. Boy, if this doesn't get Americans interested in world politics, nothing will.

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