Jeff Sessions, attorney generalThe fiftieth anniversary of the release of "The Beatles" groundbreaking album, Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Heart Club Band" is being updated with the release of Sergeant Pepper's Assisted Living Band". It features remakes the album's songs including "I wish I was 64 again", "I'm Fixing a Hole and I Can't Get Up" and "Lovely Rita, Crossing Guard."

... Given his lack of recollections about contacts with the Russians and other events during the Trump campaign, some pharmaceutical companies are offering the attorney general a deal with aids to be marketed under the name "Jeff Sessions Memory Pills"... In a further development, deputy attorney general, Rod Rosenstein may need to recuse himself from the Russia probe, which is giving rise to a proposed play, "Rosenstein and Guildenstern" in which deputies to a Republican president are sent around the country looking for members of the administration who have not talked to the Russians. ... In a wardrobe malfunction of epic proportions, Lady Gaga reprised her appearance in a meat dress. The meat had been sitting around too long and the dress gave audience members the appearance that it was moving randomly. ...In an upcoming promotion, KFC plans to send a chicken sandwich to the lower edges of space via a high-altitude balloon. The bit is designed to answer the question "Why did the chicken go into space?" Unfortunately, the answer is likely to be the same as to the age-old question, "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

Last modified on Friday, 16 June 2017
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