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Charlie Rose, TV personalityIn the latest children's story update, Hansel and Gretel's parents are visited by the Division of Youth and Family Services. "So, you knowingly took two children into a woods known to be dangerous to look for food and abandoned them?"

Their next visit was to the Old Woman Who Lived in the Shoe, whose children were removed from the home because of overcrowded, unsanitary conditions. And then there's Little Jack Horner who sat in a corner and put his thumb in a pie. He was fired from his job at the bakery for violating health rules. ... Everyone is so customer service-oriented these days. After a friend of mine visited a house of ill repute, he received an email asking him to "Please rate your experience with us." ... It's always great to commune with nature this time of year. There's nothing like filling the bird feeder and seeing the squirrels gradually discover it. .... With PBS suspending the Charlie Rose and Tavis Smiley broadcasts, I am thinking there is a future in talk TV. I should apply. Of course, there are lots of opportunities for some of the deposed personalities. Matt Lauer would be a slam-dunk for operating a toy store. And, there seems to be an increasing opportunity to seek a Congressional seat. Public TV and radio have been so hard hit with dismissals because of harassment I am waiting for Big Bird to be fired for inappropriate touching of other characters. ... Then there's that new show, a take off on "To Tell the Truth", called "Who's the Harasser?" in which panels of celebrities quiz a trio to determine which one is the miscreant. .... I have been having trouble finding the Yahoo News Odd News category. Maybe Yahoo just decided there's not much difference between that and the regular news. ... With the Holiday seasons in mind I am working on a new app. It helps determine the identities of people who send greeting cards when no one can remember how the family knows them. .... I told a friend I liked "Chicken of the Sea" and he replied, "Don't their feathers get wet?"

Last modified on Friday, 15 December 2017
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