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The doctor told me that technical term for my problems with my right knee "It's shot." He also said I'm probably a good candidate for a knee replacement. And I said, let's begin now, "Fellow Americans if elected I promise a patella in every garage and a meniscus in every pot." Actually, when somebody asked me where I stood on the issues I replied, "very carefully. If nominated, I will not run. Heck, I can't run." ... I'm going to start the new Knee Party whose goal is flexibility and stability (mine) and financial conservatism (not spending alot to fix it).

... I was looking at Knee Mart and Knees are Us, but finally went to a used knee lot. The salesman tried to sell me one "that was owned by a little old lady who only used it to go to church on Sundays." ... The whole thing had me humming that Beatle's favorite "When I get older losing my knee, a few years from now." Actually, he said it might be a half-knee replacement, to which I queried. "All of knee. Why not take all of knee? Can't you see, I'm no good with half a knee." But then he reminded me of the old dictum "Half a knee is better than none." ... The victories by Danish bombshell Caroline Wozniacki in the U.S. Open are bringing a lot of viewers to the matches. A whole new generation of fan is intently watching the bouncing on the court. Some even watch the tennis balls. Some fans asked for a nice fresh Danish and were disappointed when they got pastries. ... I recently noticed one of the categories on the SEC Edgar home page called "Interim Final Temporary Rules." I'm asking for a clarification between that and "Interim Temporary Final Rules", "Temporary Final Interim Rules" and "Crap We Thought We'd Put Here to See If People Are Paying Attention."

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