Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 11 seconds

RANDOM THOUGHTS: SCIENTISTS

Scientists who created a genetically modified salmon realized the experiment had gone too far when the latest specimen began walking up the banks of the Columbia River to spawn. It got worse when, following some experiments with modified plants, all the vegetables in a New Jersey supermarket started chanting "Hell, no we won't go" when customers tried to make a purchase.

But things quieted down after they broke into the liquor department and drank themselves into a stupor. … Sesame Street has pulled a taped sequence in which singer Katy Perry, in a low-cut outfit, sang a duet with Elmo. I guess that's because Elmo said "Today's letter is C. C is for cleavage and B is for, .. oh never mind." Then Count, Count got in trouble when he said, "1, 2, 3, 4 and I’d say about a 34B." … The health issues with the egg companies have become so bad that when a member of congress told one egg company executive, he had egg on his face, he ran from the hearing room screaming, "Get it off me. Get it off me." … A Connecticut state fire marshal is in trouble because he paid $15 for a lap dance at a New Haven strip club when he went to serve a city tax warrant. He's also going to be in trouble with the IRS if he doesn't declare the difference between the value of the lap dance and the $15 charge as income.
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