Random Thoughts

Random Thoughts (1099)

RANDOM THOUGHTS: LAUREL AND HARDY

Laurel & HardyAfter tiring of watching the reruns of various murder/detective series, I decided that we need to combine the best elements of many reality shows, like "World’s Dumbest” and “Shark Week.” But all I could come up with was “World’s Dumbest Sharks.” I think it needs some work … Scott’s First Principle of Bureaucracy: Paperwork expands to fill available time. … I decided to watch “Interview with the Vampire” last night, but I’m not sure what people see with it. Read more...

RANDOM THOUGHTS: BULLFIGHTING

BullfightingI’ve always tried to maintain a positive mental attitude and I believe I have succeeded. Most people are convinced I’m mental. … The “Huffington Post” showed a photo of celebrity Britney Spears in a tiny two-piece bikini. However, given some of Spears’ photos of a few years ago, the mystery is sort of gone. Read more...

RANDOM THOUGHTS: VIEWS OF NEW ORLEANS

blue manNew Orleans time? The St. Patrick’s Day parade started at 6 p.m. far away and was expected along Decatur Street. I waited, ate dinner and gave up at 7:30. Headed back after 9 and it was still moving through Bourbon Street. …At 6:15 pm: behind me two people supported a guy who was being violently sick on the crowded sidewalk. In most towns, the cops would arrive. Instead, a guitarist sympathized, “Brother, I know how you feel.” …. … A man whose outfit and beard made him look like a member of the Hogwarts faculty was playing the glass harmonica (Varying sizes glasses and water levels to produce musical tones) on Jackson Square.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: HUGO CHAVEZ

 Hugo ChavezHow many Congress people does it change a light bulb? No one knows. They haven’t been able to get it done. Meanwhile, a plume of black smoke issuing from the capital building signaled the legislators’ latest inability to come to a financial agreement. However, there is hope: leaders of both houses were seen standing in line to buy tickets for the latest Powerball drawing. Read more...

RANDOM THOUGHTS: DENNIS RODMAN

Dennis Rodman's visit to North Korea, where he declared the country’s leader is a friend for life, reminds me of the end of the movie "Men in Black" in which it is revealed that Rodman is an alien. "Rodman? You're kidding," says Linda Fiorentino's character, Elle. "Nope," Will Smith's character responds. "Not much of a disguise," Elle says. Then Kim Jong Un said he would nuke the United States. But in a friendly way. Read more...

RANDOM THOUGHTS; PARIS HILTON

Paris HiltonWe’re now dealing with the sequester, that result of the failure of Congress to agree to a deficit-cutting measure. Sequester always sounds like one of those mythical characters that Lewis Carroll created in “Through the Looking Glass” along with the Jabberwock and Bandersnatch. “Beware the dreaded Sequester. It’s politics have potential to fester.” It goes along with other fabled political creatures such as the Gerrymander, which I believe is vying to take over the job as Geico spokesman from the Gekko. Read more...

RANDOM THOUGHTS; SMOKEY THE BEAR

Smokey the BearSpeed dating is not new. I engaged in that a lot in college. “I have a headache, can we leave now? Take me home.” .... As I’ve gotten older, I don’t know that I’ve gotten wiser. But I can certainly make what I say sound more impressive so it fools more people. ... Sometimes I'm slow on the uptake. I once thought that Pound Puppies was a form of animal abuse. Read more...

RANDOM THOUGHTS; DALLAS CHEERLEADERS

cowboys_cheerleaders.Is it true that the unobtrusive guys at a Prague gun show are Background Czechs? ... Someone recently died aboard a United Airlines flight. On the surface, this is distressing. But there are a lot of practical issues. If the deceased has an aisle seat and you are on the window, you have a problem. But if he’s got the window and you’re the aisle, then it’s not a big issue and you can relax instead of having to get up every time he has to go to the bathroom. Read more...

RANDOM THOUGHTS: ED KOCH

The Late Ed KochThe information about DNA tests conducted by 23andMe show that one of the traits that is subject to genetic inheritance rules is whether your ear wax is wet or dry. “Oh, he has his grandmother’s eyes and his grandfather’s ear wax.” … There was a report last week that some Burger Kings in England were serving horsemeat instead of beef. That spurred the Roy Rogers chain to come out with its new sandwich, the McTrigger. ... It turns out the new move, “The Walking Dead,” is a documentary about Mitt Romney’s opinion polling team Read more...

RANDOM THOUGHTS: JAR JAR BINKS

Jar Jar BinksThe latest round of Star Wars movie is reported to include “The Adventures of Jar Jar Binks.” As soon as word leaked out, there were threats of mass suicide if it’s ever released. However, there is a proposal to make the character more culturally appealing by changing his name to Yo Yo Binks. … I’ve been hanging around accountants too long. Someone asked me what the letters meant in the name of C.P.E. Bach, composer and son of better-known composer Johann Sebastian Bach.

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