After a well-publicized drunken rampage about the change, disconsolate Snap was found floating in a bowl of soggy cereal. He left a note stating, "Snap, Crackle..., who gives a ....?" Pall bearers will include Captain Crunch; Lucky the Leprechaun; Toucan Sam and Count Chocula. ... I found out why Hilary Clinton kept a personal email account at the State Department. She was waiting for a response from the Nigerian prince after she sent him a large check. Actually, she was using it to monitor Bill's email... Headline: 2050. Republicans in the House of Representatives have named the 80th committee on Benghazi. ... I saw an advertisement for Disney tours from an agency called, "It's All About the Mouse." But I went with a company called "Mouse Tours", which offered cheaper packages. We ended up visiting a lot of scientific laboratories. ... Had to grab a bowl from the dishwasher and rinse it out because the others were dirty. I must not have done the best job as there was a distinct taste of garlic. I don't think Quaker Oats with Maple Syrup and Garlic is going to be a best seller. ... If a bear is in the woods and there's nobody there to see it, never mind.