... And in science news, a scientist who cloned a Canada goose was beaten to death by enraged New Jerseyans. ... I have often said I write the only standing humor item in an accounting publication. I mean, if accounting isn't funny, I don't know what is. .... I have the perfect solution for selecting the GOP nominee. It's a realty show, "GOP Survivor". They are placed in the same house and form alliances and vote each other off. We can place them on an island with no way of escape or communication with the outside world and—well that is probably enough by itself. … This just in, Canada has disclaimed any relationship with the Geese. Suggests calling them American Geese. ... It has been reported this week that scientists have determined through experiments it may be possible to develop a cloak of invisibility through the use of microscopic gold blocks. Add that to the availability of drones and paparazzi could become a threat to human civilization. What you call a paparazzi with no conscience? A paparazzi. ... There's a new movie about an evil lord who tries to take over the earth for force everyone to wear cheap jewelry It's titled "Lord of the Bling."
RANDOM THOUGHTS: CANADA GEESE
On the way from Newark to Cincinnati, I forgot to turn off my cell phone and the plane crashed and there were no survivors and—oh, it didn't do anything, did it? ... I saw a memory expert recently. He was able to perform incredible feats of memory such as being able to name all the owners of his bank over the last 20 years; the campaign promises of the last four presidential candidates; recite all the names of the GOP presidential candidates and understand all the language of a w-9 form ... In a tragic mis-scheduling of events, National Take Your Pet Hamster to Work Day coincided with National Take Your Pet Snake to Work Day. ... Ah it's fall and soon the leaves will be turning and the Canada geese will start their annual, well, annual not doing much differently.
