Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 25 seconds

RANDOM THOUGHTS: JERRY SPRINGER

Jerry SpringerA five-year-old recently destroyed a $15,000 Lego sculpture within an hour of the exhibit's opening in China. I think it's safe to say that whoever was responsible for security has never been a parent with young children. When my daughter was that age, I wouldn't let her around a dollar set of glassware unsupervised. ... News reports continue to appear about the discovery of a small number of Nile crocodiles in Florida. They are much like their American counterparts except for being bigger, more aggressive and showing a taste for people.

If they become prevalent enough, it won't be long until we see the signs: "Welcome to Florida no outdoor swimming allowed." Nice thing about the Nile crocs is they will keep the Burmese pythons in check. I wonder if they have a taste for Canada Goose and can stand the weather in New Jersey? The only thing needed to complete Florida's outdoor appeal is piranha. ... In the latest round of competition of the Political Sports League it will be the Trump U Cheats versus the Clinton Secret Servers. In line with the tone of the presidential contest, the debates this fall will be held on the Jerry Springer Show under "Candidates Who Hate Each Other". Open-handed slapping will be permitted, but biting and eye gouging will not. Trump will regale the audience with the sad tale of a boy growing up without even a billion dollars to his name. Hillary will talk about how she used to hide notes in class and refuse to give them to the teacher. .... Eighteen two-person teams of diggers competed recently in a grave-digging contest in Debrechen, Hungary. Newscasts said the competition was a very grave situation and an extremely difficult undertaking.

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