There has been a lot of news about a town worried about that a large, beached animal may explode. "You mean the dead blue whale in California?" I was asked. "No, Toronto mayor Rob Ford." ... Political advisors have determine the best way to keep Ford from embarrassing statements is to have rocker Ozzy Osbourne give him elocution lessons. That way Ford can continue make gaffs, but no one will understand him. ... It is widely believed by scientists, because they play such an important role in our society, if the Kardashians did not exist, we would have to invent them.