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Random Thoughts

Random Thoughts (1098)

A DEAD MOUSE

Friday, 06 January 2012
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Pepsi has denied a man's claim he found parts of a dead mouse in his bottle of Mountain Dew. The company maintains the mouse would have been dissolved by the liquid. I guess there is some truth to the rumor that the original name proposed for the product was "Mouse Away". There was also a report that Roach Motels would now have fountain service of Mountain Dew and Pepsi guaranteeing that "Roaches check in but they don't check out." Read more...
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RUNNING THE TOYOTATHON

Friday, 30 December 2011
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I think my car was in the Toyotathon. I drove it 26 miles 385 yards and it died. … The name of the company, Unit4, has always confused me. It sounds like the office next to the Men in Black bunker near the tunnel. “MIB can’t handle the alien invasion. It’s time to call Unit4.”  Or maybe Unit4 was the ward housing Jack Nicholson’s character in “One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest.”

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: PHIL SPECTOR

Friday, 16 December 2011
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Love the advertisements for the Phil Spector Christmas album that are on radio right now. Spector is serving 19 years to life for murder. So of course, the latest version of his legendary work will include “I Fought the Law and the Law Won” and a special holiday rendition of “Folsom Prison Blues” and “I didn’t shoot the sheriff, the deputy or that broad."

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RANDOM THOUGHTS; SAVING THE EURO

Friday, 09 December 2011
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euro logoThe European Union has come up with another idea to save its beleaguered currency - "Let’s put on a show and save the euro". .... Today’s multiple choice quiz: The stock market A. Reacted positively to the latest attempt to save the euro. B. Reacted negatively to the latest attempt to save the euro. C. Decided to put its money on Billy Crystal to save the euro and the Oscars Read more...
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RANDOM THOUGHTS: CHRISTMAS SPECIALS

Friday, 02 December 2011
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Christmas specials start to dominate the television lineup. In a holiday version of “Flashpoint” the team faces a hostage situation in which a deranged elf holds the reindeer at gunpoint. And “Criminal Minds” pays special tribute to the season with “Who is Killing Santa’s Elves?” Read more...
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RANDOM THOUGHTS: EUROPEAN DEBT

Thursday, 17 November 2011
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European debt continues to dominant that news.  To take advantage of the interest, there's a new reality TV show, "The Wheel of Debt". Customers spin the wheel to bet on which European country goes into default first. There's no winners. There's just the satisfaction of picking the loser and being right. And then there's the sure-hit, "Survivor Euro" in which European countries vie to see who gets voted out of the euro zone first. Greece is the odds-on favorite. Speaking of Greece, the hard-pressed country is nearing an agreement for a plan that would let it repay part of its obligations with feta cheese. Read more...
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RANDOM THOUGHTS: AIRLINES MORE TRUTHFUL

Friday, 11 November 2011
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The airlines are getting more truthful. After the person at the desk gave the call for “first class, platinum elite, families with younger children, military personnel, people we feel like letting onboard early”, she then added, “and the rest of you riff raff.” Then when the usual announcements were being made, the flight attendant said, “In case the cabin loses pressure, oxygen masks will drop. Those in first class, please put them on. In coach, you can start the flow of air by tapping the cord with a major credit card. You can also insert cash in the slot above your head.” Read more...
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RANDOM THOUGHTS: GREEK DEBT

Friday, 04 November 2011
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ParthenonLas Vegas bookmakers are taking bets as to which happens first, the U.S. government shuts down in a funding dispute or Greece is auctioned off.  “And what do I hear for the Parthenon? Think how this would look on your lot. A fixer upper that will make you the envy of your neighbors.” Who has the over-under on a U.S. default? Read more...
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RANDOM THOUGHTS; OCCUPY WALL STREET

Friday, 28 October 2011
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Occupy Wall Street has influenced other protest movements. There’s the Occupy Sesame Street movement in which those camping out are insisting on equal rights for animated characters and Occupy Elm Street in which Freddie Krueger and other  protesters demand an end to meaningless horror movie sequels. Read more...

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: THE AXIS OF EVIL

Friday, 21 October 2011
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The Axis of Evil has taken another blow with the death of Moammar Qadafy (and we'll spend less time figure out how to translate his name from Arabic.)  As Moammar follows the late Saddam Hussein to wherever these guys go, it's becoming more the Broken Axel of Evil. Read more...
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