And given the passage of time, we should see the Stone's  phrase, "I can't get no satisfaction", accompanying commercials for laxatives ...

Somehow I've got on a spam mailing list that's written in German. Boy, those Nigerians will go to any length to disguise their identities. But it seems like I've got a claim on an account valued at 2015.96 euro. Or maybe they are demanding I pay a library fine of that amount for a book that's been missing from the Munich library for 35 years. ... There's a furor going on over whether Miss Indiana's body was normal after she appeared for 30 seconds in a bikini in the Miss U.S.A. pageant. I have volunteered my services to provide a hands-on investigation for her and to compare first-hand the bodies of other entrants. ... Father's Day is Sunday and it's the one day a year we take to let dad know he's more than just a source of funds. ... Got a letter from a medical office whose name I didn't recognize. How sweet! It was a reminder that I'm due for a colonoscopy this year. It's nice to have little touches like this to light up your day. ... Brazil got off to a rocky start when one of its players booted the ball into his own goal, scoring the only point for Croatia in the first World Cup game. It is believed that since Brazil won the game, he'll be allowed to live. World Cup season, of course, is when baseball fans, who watch guys scratch themselves for three hours, talk about how boring soccer is.