Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 11 seconds

RANDOM THOUGHTS: CHIPMUNKS

Alvin and the ChipmunksThe local Rite Aid is occupying a space formerly the site of a Bank of America. As a result, it has three drive-thru lanes. Two have the labels, "Drop Off" and "Pick Up". I am proposing the third be labeled "Undecided". ... Presidential candidate Donald Trump is trying to make his dream a reality—to make the United States a place where every boy can afford a permanent comb over.

... If Trump is elected supporters want his face on Mount Rushmore. However, engineers advise his famed hair feature makes this structurally impossible. ... The new Alvin and the Chipmunk movie had to be altered when it was discovered someone had included the verse "Chipmunks roasting over an open fire." ... And in a stunning development, Alvin and his cohorts face off against Chip and Dale in a Christmas special "Nuts to You." ... Moscow is offering wi-fi at city cemeteries. It is unclear if routers are being placed in coffins for the convenience of the dead. ... You need a score card to see who is fighting who in the Middle East. The Kurds are fighting Isis. Turkey is fighting Isis and the Kurds. The Russian-backed Syrian government is fighting Isis and the moderate anti-government groups. And Turkey could end up fighting Russia. It is at least clear that Isis is fighting everybody. ... I was trying to define fantasy sports and decided that includes the idea of the Chicago Cubs winning the World Series.

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