Estimated reading time: 1 minute, 9 seconds

RANDOM THOUGHTS: BIG BIRD

In most cities, public consumption of alcohol is against the law. In New Orleans, it's mandatory. While down there, I realized the tell-time sign of the beignet eater—white powdery markets all over clothing. Of course, that confuses out-of-towners who think the town has an epidemic of cocaine use? ... Watching the U.S. Women's soccer team play in the World Cup, I realized quickly the game is simply roller derby on turf.

... I hope to live long enough to see what happens when the generation that embraced tattoos hits old age and their skin begins to sag. "Is that a heart? Can you unfold that a bit, dearie?" And then there will be the national nursing home issue of taking care of belly rings and rings in sensitive areas. ... Police have warned Britons that a ahea, a large flightless bird, is loose and very aggressive. This particular specimen is six-feet tall. Pre-schools worldwide had to deal with sobbing toddlers who thought police are trying to capture Big Bird. However, bird experts warned that the rhea, like its yellow, feathered TV counterpart, is not very dangerous. ... Yahoo's Odd News section is featuring a segment called "Embarrassing Celebrity Videos". Those for Lindsay Lohan and Justin Bieber are just on a loop. I had a momentary lapse on Bieber's name, but it came up third on a Google search using the words "Canadian, singer, arrested."

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