Artis Leon Ivey Jr., AKA Coolio At the end of every journey is the gift shop. … This week I am getting a new right knee. It’s essential because I don’t want to sit on the couch and feel sorry for myself.

I want to be able to walk around, do things and feel sorry for myself. I have warned Facebook friends that postings could get a little weird because of medication involved in the procedure. One replied, “I don’t think anybody will notice.”… A survey shows that most business during Cyber Monday is initiated from the bathroom. Nice to know somebody has the real poop on spending. … I have always wondered how the Baby Boom generation will reminisce in nursing homes. Will they be trying to move to “I Can’t Get No Satisfaction”. Another Rolling Stone hit, "Let's Spend the Night Together" will be about patients and their round-the-cloud caregivers. Looking further into the future, I am trying to envision the Hip Hop generation celebrating memories as oldsters sing scratchily “It's gettin' hot in here, so take off all your clothes”.  Or will there be a video advertising “Gangsta Rap for Seniors” with 80 and 90-year olds intoning Coolio’s lyrics “I'm twenty-three never will I live to see twenty-four?” … “What’s the difference between a vegan and vegetarian?” a friend asked. “Levels of self-righteousness,” I replied.

Last modified on Wednesday, 28 November 2018
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