Actually, the Astros real crime was the sign theft threatened sto speed up the game and make it more interesting. … A recent TV ad talked about “Five Indicators of Brain Performance”. I have one—does it work when I get up in the morning? …. How many politicians does it take to change a Ukrainian light bulb? I don’t know. The number keeps growing. … The nominations for Oscar awards—better known as the “Old White Guys” contest have been announced. That means next year, one of the major missions of “The Black Widow”, due in theaters in May 1 with star. Scarlett Johansson, will be to overthrow the academy establishment. …  Someone asked what I thought of gold as a hedge against hard times. I said, “It’s a great device. If someone tries to take what you have, you can hit them over the head with a bar of it.” …. Never trust online tests: One of these said if you like 23 of the 30 foods, you are over 50. I tested as Generation Xer and tested out of a second at 35 years old. Maybe it’s because I said I don’t like meatballs with grape jelly.  Another test summary  said, “You don't have close to enough experience to even qualify as a 30-year-old, never mind for a full-blooded 60-year-old. My wife said it doesn’t matter since, “You always eat like a five-year old’.  …