Random Thoughts

Random Thoughts (1098)

MURMURINGS FROM THE INFORMATION AGE

Verizon logoThe response from an automated attendant for Verizon, while trying to solve a problem with an account logon. "You said: I can't log on to the Verizon residential account Ask Verizon: Please Sign In to your Verizon account on the page I have opened for you."

RANDOM THOUGHTS: THERE'S ONLY ONE

There's only one fair solution to Newsweek's using a picture of vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin in a running suit on its cover. Force the magazine to run a picture of Democratic vice president Joe Biden in a running suit.

Read more...

RANDOM THOUGHTS: THE GREEN SPOTS

The green spots on a recently purchased package of bacon sent me to the Internet to read about the advisability of eating moldy bacon.

 

Read more...

RANDOM THOUGHTS: KEN BURNS

Filmmaker Ken Burns is following up his TV series about America's National Parks with a 10-parter called "America's Historic Toxic Dump Sites." The first six episodes take place in New Jersey. .... Speaking of New Jersey, after dumping Gov. Jon Corzine, the state will get back to what it does best, indict officials. The betting line is forming now for the number of  indictments for 2010. The over-under is 50 elected officials.

Read more...

RANDOM THOUGHTS: DURING THE VISIT

During the visit to the Smithsonian while at the CCH conference, I spent a lot of time at the recreated Julia Childs’ kitchen and at the exhibit on the atomic bomb and radiation. I wanted to combine in an exhibit of Mutant French Cooking that features bizarre foods that no reasonable person would eat. I’m sorry, that is French cooking.

Read more...

WHY I LOVE NEW YORK

Woman: “Is this the line to get bus tickets to Willowbrook Mall?” Me: “Yes it is. Take New Jersey Transit.” Woman: “Are you waiting for a 2:30 bus.” “No, I don’t know the schedule.” Woman to woman in front of me: “Are you waiting for a 2:30 bus? Somebody told me to go up stairs. I’ve already missed two buses. “

Read more...

RANDOM THOUGHTS: WHEN ON SUNDAY

When on Sunday the emcee at the AccountMate Synergy conference said there would be an outside speaker the next day, I thought “I wonder who it is” When they said it was me I thought “Damn, I was hoping it was someone good”

Read more...

RANDOM THOUGHTS: SOMEONE ASKED IF

Someone asked if I was surprised that Republican Olympia Snowe voted for the Democratic health care plan. I said I didn’t know that but she was great as Cher’s mother in "Moonstruck." ... Rush Lumbaugh had a chance of getting the Nobel Peace Prize. But he failed the drug test. ...
Read more...

RANDOM THOUGHTS: IN THE UPCOMING MOVIE

In the upcoming movie, "The Lord of the Ring, the Later Years," Frodo is so fat that when he puts on the ring of power, he can't get it off and the Hobbits spend the rest of the movie looking for him; most orcs have joined the Teamsters Union, the Eye of Sauron has been fitted for bifocals, and the older elves are in assisted living in the undying lands. They can recount legends of thousands of years ago, but most can't remember their own names.

 

Read more...

QUICKBEARS AT SOLDIER FIELD

Intuit took its reselling crew on a night at Chicago's Soldier Field of feasting on bland hot dogs and bacon burgers that tasted surprisingly similar to packing materials. Even though the beer was free, I automatically handed the concessionaire a twenty dollar bill and walked away. ...

Read more...

Visit other PMG Sites: