Random Thoughts

Random Thoughts (1098)

RANDOM THOUGHTS: MISUNDERSTOOD

Misunderstood the guy who was complaining about the vuvuzelas at the World Cup. "Vuvuzela?" I said. "Didn't he pitch for the Dodgers?" Actually the state of Utah has added an option to hanging and firing squad for execution, death by vuvuzela. The annoying horns have set back the soccer in the United States by two years. Read more...

RANDOM THOUGHTS: THE BLOWN CALL

The blown call that cost Armando Galarraga a perfect game caused no much angst that motivational speaker Tony Robbins was seen in a bar sulking and endlessly that “Life isn’t worth living. …  After the U.S. once again killed the No. 3 leader of Al Qaeda, the terrorist organization has abolished the position. Leadership positions will now be numbered No. 2, 2a and 4.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: ON A DAY

On a day like Memorial Day, I sometimes think of the countless people trapped in lives of incredible boredom and senseless repetition of actions and locked into meaningless rituals, with little hope for any improvement in their fate. But enough about professional baseball; the World Cup begins soon. So class, here's your first lesson in Spanish for the World Cup. Repeat after me, "goooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooal, goooooooooooooooooooooooooooal. ... Read more...

RANDOM THOUGHTS; CHINA HAS BECOME

China has become such an important support for the Western economy that when it said it wasn't reviewing foreign exchange investments, the markets went up. In fact, when I looked at the newer dollars in my wallet, I noticed they had the imprint "Made in China." They also tested positive for lead ... BP has had trouble plugging the major oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico, butt has had much more success in designing a sea otter that is never low on oil. But on the bright side, the oil slicks are so lovely in the setting sun. ... Read more...

RANDOM THOUGHTS; CONTINENTAL AIRLINES

Continental Airlines served lunch on its flight from Newark to Denver, one of those piping hot meals in a sealed plastic bag. This one was called the Turkey Dog Crescent. I think it must be the first breaded product ever made by Goodyear … Combining the trend of sequels and summer movies, there's a new offering coming out this season called "X-Men, Summer Vacation." In a more light-hearted look at the mutant world, the film shows the gang raising some extra cash. Wolverine works as a meat slicer in a deli, Cyclops takes a job smelting iron and Storm goes to work performing simulations for the U.S. Weather Bureau. ... Read more...

RANDOM THOUGHTS: WITH ITS CONCRETE DOME

With its concrete dome failing to stem the oil pouring into the Gulf of Mexico, BP has begun considering some other nontraditional solutions. These include using millions of pounds of Italian bread to soak up the oil and having most of the boys in Holland stuck their fingers into the hole. Read more...

RANDOM THOUGHTS: IN A MANHATTAN VISIT

In a Manhattan visit recently, I spotted a Turkish Restaurant, but its window had a notice that it had been closed by order of the Commissioner of Health and Mental Hygiene. Unfortunately, it wasn't stated if the food was unsanitary or was experiencing emotional issues. ... Read more...

RANDOM THOUGHTS: ROCK N RAVE

Rock N Rave, a party sponsored by a group of Microsoft ISVs, has become an important event at Convergence. The prelims at Opera Atlanta were two young lovelies in fishnet stocks and black corsets, the team attire for all female dancers, doing a fire-eating act. After the pole dancer and two similarly dressed companions performed later I mused, “This just says ‘good partner relations’ to me.” Read more...

RANDOM THOUGHTS; MY DAUGHTER

My daughter has been weighing returning to the School of Visual Arts in New York for another semester or going to the local community college. So today she said, “Can I have the car at 2 p.m?” “Why?” “To go to County College.” “Why are going there?” “To register.” “Oh, I guess that means you’ve made a decision.” Read more...

RANDOM THOUGHTS: DUTCH IS

Dutch is a very guttural language. The names of the days of the week end with  “dag” wth the "g" pronounced a bit like the "ch" in  “loch” in Scots English. After reciting all seven days I had to wipe off my computer monitor. No wonder the country allows smoking of marijuana. It's the only way they can tolerate talking to each other. ... I see that my Dutch phrase book has been updated. It includes handy phrases like, "Where are the prostitutes?" and "What can I get for 30 euros?" ...  Actually, I'd think the worst thing about going to the Red Light district would be to run into someone you know who works there. It would be an awkward conversation. "What are the hours like?" "Is there a good career path?" "Do you get overtime?" ... It's funny. Despite the country's liberal tendencies, working to learn some Dutch via Rosetta Stone makes it clear that people are pretty picky about using formal or informal versions of the word "you" with them. ... The economy is so bad in Greece that the country has taken out another mortgage on the Parthenon. ... Listened to a brief interview with two members of the Village People last week. They are still touring, but they are getting old enough they have trouble stretching enough to form the letters. "uuh Y uhh, ow M, OMG that hurts C ....uh uh, uh, ah, forget it." ... Egyptologists have announced the discovery of a new tomb and an inscription that appears to be the first reference to TV host Larry King. The hieroglyphs translate as "Old man of many, many wives."  Actually, King and his seventh wife are parting company. If he marries again, PBS will run the "Eight Wives of Larry King" along with "The Eight Wives of Henry the Eighth", a King of a different sort. Larry is scheduled to receive the Mickey Rooney Lifetime Achievement award.

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