Lacking anything better to say to a neighbor who I was arguing with, I shot off,  “I take it you were attacked by a brain eating amoeba as a child.” … A couple of men have been arrested for getting off the designated path and leaning over the Old Faithful Geyser to take photographs.

Standing headlines for the political campaign: “Biden Stumbles”…  Former NFL coach and commentator Tony Dungy said he disappointed in Robert Kraft, owner of the New England Patriots, because Kraft hired troublesome player Antonio Brown because professional football players need to be role models.

The nice thing about online gambling is you don’t have to worry about having to hitch hike to the airport after blowing all your cash. … Following his statement that hurricane Dorian threatened Alabama, President Trump plans a career as a meteorologist once he leaves office.

In the real life update of the Disney Classic “Lady and the Tramp, the romance is cut short when the kind new owners conscientiously have the two dogs fixed. They are also treated for fleas and mange.