Random Thoughts

Random Thoughts (728)

RANDOM THOUGHTS: KENDALL AND PEPSI

Kendall JennerThe local supermarket has a line of natural cat food. It appears to be very authentic—I found Fresh-killed Bird and Squashed Rat. There's also a natural dog food brand led by "Fresh Kitty Litter", what your dog really likes to eat. ... I told my wife she would know I was senile when I start drooling uncontrollably. "Who'd? know the difference," she retorted.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: CHEERS

“Cheers” Cliff Clavin, John Ratzenberger, photo by David ShankboneWe finally figured out what President Trump's problem was with German Chancellor Angela Merkel. Trump, who said Merkel had ruined Germany, thought the Merkel was the currency in use in her country. That came to light when he asked an advisor "How many Merkels to the dollar?" ... Republican Senators John McCain and Rand Paul have been feuding.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: JABBA THE HUTT

Jabba the Hutt, from WikipediaA Michelin star was accidentally awarded to a burger joint, "Le Bouche a Oreille" in Bourges, France. Diners who were attracted by the designation were somewhat suspicious of some dishes in the style “a la shingle”. … I have gotten to the point I don’t believe a word the media or politicians say and I have serious doubts about most of the things I say. 

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: HANDEL

George F. Handel, portrait by Balthasar Denner There were no prices on the menu at the fondue restaurant near the La Jolla Hyatt, always a danger sign. I asked the guy at the door, "Can you just pour some melted cheese in a cup and I'll just dip my fingers in it?." The place next door was no better. "I was looking at the price for your free-range chicken. Can I have something you didn't have to chase so far?"

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: ON VACATION

Some weeks are not funny. Back with more next week.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: THE KARDASHIANS

Khloe Kardashian, By Toglenn - Own work, CC BY-SA 3.0I am starting to worry about the Russians hacking electric utilities. My most recent bill asked me to pay in rubles. ... Watched the Rose parade. The Marijuana Grower's Float was very attractive but was stripped of all its plant matter before it got half way through the five-mile route. Then there was the "Life in California" trophy winner.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: POPPA JAGGER

Mick Jagger,  The Rolling StonesI had a difficult night sleeping. The memory foam in my mattress had an attack of amnesia. Actually, there was a recent case in which a husband accused his wife of cheating after the mattress apparently remember the shape of another man. ... As always around Christmastime, some TV stations load up on syrupy movies such as "A Golden Christmas" and its sequels.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: KENDALL JENNER

Kendall JenneraFresh from successful efforts to convince Carrier from relocating 1,400 jobs from Indiana to Mexico, president-elect Donald Trump is on the way to the North Pole. He hopes to persuade Santa to kill plans to replace his help with Chinese and Mexican elves. ,,, My wife and I were at a drug store and she was looking for a small packet of wipes for an upcoming trip. "I've seen them here before." "Maybe you should ask for help," I said. She walked up and down the aisle. "I can't find them. "Maybe you should ask for help," I commented. She went to the front of the store. "Maybe you should ask for help" I said. "No," she said looking at the person at the register. "She just came in." I said, "There are other people to ask. Maybe you should ask for help." This message is brought to you as a service to men everywhere. ... Recently, Kardashian half-sister Kendall Jenner officially became a Victoria's Secret model and earned the wings the scantily dressed girls are known for. Many would hope that sister, Kim, and her husband, Kanye West, would get wings and fly away. ... A friend was recently trying to cheer me up after a set back. "What would your father advise you if you fell off a horse?. "Shoot the horse," I replied. "He believed in not wasting effort." ... A woman who accidentally invited a teenager to Thanksgiving followed through by celebrating with him. It turns out he was much better company than most members of her family. .... In a remake of "The Twilight Zone" written by liberal Democrats, a New York real estate developer is elected president of the United States against all odds. Oh wait...

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: OMAROSA

Omarosa Photography by Glenn Francis of PacificProDigital.com And today's answer in "Airplane Jeopardy" is "An arm and a leg." "Bob?" "What do you need to chop off to fit comfortably into a middle seat". ... A man in the line of front of me was tackled by TSA employees and wrestled to the ground. "A terrorist?" I asked the lady at the counter at the gate. "No, he tried to bring a Samsung Galaxy Note7 on board," she replied.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: SEVEN DWARVES

Seven Dwarves (from original movie trailer)I have reached that age where people worry about me when I fall asleep in public. I was snoozing at the Dolphin Hotel convention center in Orlando, Fla., when a woman asked me if I was OK. "Yeah, except for those vultures perched over in the corner," I replied. ...I also took a nostalgic tour of the Walt Disney Assisted Living Center for Retired Animated Creatures.

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