Random Thoughts

Random Thoughts (349)

RANDOM THOUGHTS: CANDIDATE TRUMP

Donald TrumpNow that he has endorsed Hilary Clinton as the Democratic nominee for president, Sen. Bernie Sanders will appear in a series of TV commercials in which he is asked, "How do you get to the White House?" Seated in front of a Vermont country store, he drawls, "You can't get there from here." He is also contemplating a series of Vermont Fried Chicken restaurants featuring fried chicken and maple syrup.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: U.K.'S CAMERON

David Cameron, British prime ministerI noted one of the national drug store chains has completed its consumer healthcare signage logically. In addition to places on the aisle for footcare, eye care and oral care there is now a place for miscellaneous body part care ... Police have found a heroin mill behind a secret door at a New York City candy store.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: KIM K, GQ

Kim KardashianMy wife said she was going to a "Girl's Night Out" event this weekend. I said, "Don't you mean 'Older Women's Night' Out?" ... My wife and I are just a couple of romantics. I called her mid-week and asked, "Are we doing anything Saturday?" "Yes, we're going to that memorial service." "Probably not for our anniversary." "Oh." ... I was somewhat taken aback at the headline in the area weekly newspaper today:

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: PAUL MCCARTNEY

Paul McCartney, BBC photoAfter referring to Elizabeth Warren as Pocahontas because of her small percentage native American ancestry, GOP president candidate Donald Trump then doubled down against the Republican establishment referring to them as the "Lost Boys". He also attacked the latest X-Men movie promising to ban mutants from the country and to prevent prisoners from being released from the Phantom Zone in the Superman story. Democrats immediately questioned the parentage of Trump's hair. ... I was noticing a news item that a cat in Las Vegas alerted its owners to a house fire. I always suspected our cat would more likely start the fire.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: SIGMUND FREUD

Sigmund FreudI went to a recital at a church in Jersey City this weekend which was held to benefit restoration of its organ. Someone asked me what I knew about organ restoration and I replied, "They have pills for that now." .... I was watching my wife working on eggs in the living room. "Are those deviled eggs?" I asked. "No, just mildly annoyed," she responded. ... The 160th birthday of Sigmund Freud, the father of modern psychoanalysis, is this month, and it's worth a reminder that sometimes a candle, is just a candle.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: DON RICKLES

Don RicklesI figured out how the dispute between GOP presidential contenders Donald Trump and Ted Cruz got started. Cruz was trying to tell an old joke with Trump in earshot. "Take my wife, please," the Ted cracked. "It looks like a few people already did," the Donald enjoined. Cruz then retorted that Trump's hair makes it look like his mother mated with a chia-pet.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: MURDOCH's EX

Rupert Murdoch Reading the debate over Kim Kardashian and another actress tweeting a topless picture of themselves, I have to give Kim credit for knowing how to stay in the public eye and make it seem like something special at a time when it's pretty easy to find pictures of naked people on the web. ... I understand that the next Republican presidential debate will include a pie-throwing session.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: SPANISH INQUISITION

Monty Python's Spanish  Inquistion SkitI can finally say I’m hip. I had a dish with quinoa in it last week. Now, if I were just to start watching Downton Abbey. ... Was on the river bank yesterday and four buzzards appeared and were flying low at various spots. One came straight overhead and then didn't make such a pass again. I think they were checking me out. "I don't think he's quite ready, Fred.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: PEE-WEE HERMAN

Paul Reubens as Pee-wee Herman, 1988A study found that fish in Puget Sound are full of drugs such as cocaine and antidepressants. That explains why my depression cleared up after a recent fish dinner in Seattle. At least they cleaned up the mercury a bit. Once, I ate a salmon at it reported I was running a fever.... When I was a kid, my mother used to kill and clean the chickens for dinner, along with the fish that my father caught. It was years later that I realized a woman's place is in the kitchen disemboweling small animals.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: MOST INTERESTING MAN

Jonathan Goldsmith, Most Interesting Man in the WorldSomeone sent me a chart to show relationships, including cousins and showing what it means to be a cousin once removed, twice removed and so forth. I had a cousin who was several times removed, usually at the request of a bar owner or relatives. ... Kim Kardashian's recent selfie was interesting but it could have benefitted from some advice about photography. A wide-angle lens would have helped to better capture her best-known attribute.

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