Random Thoughts

Random Thoughts (349)

RANDOM THOUGHTS: DARTH VADER

Darth VaderA news item said most Americans prefer Darth Vader for president over any known candidates in 2016.  Former VP Dick Cheney immediately said he was willing to be the Dark Lord’s VP, but Vader shuddered when informed of the news.  … Previously unknown dialogue from “The Skywalkers” an unsuccessful TV spinoff from the “Star Wars series”:  “Luke, I am your father.” “Ah gee, now I know why you never came to career day.” And in an unfortunate situation, Vader is barred from passing through airport security when he won’t take off his signature helmet. … The guy sitting next to me said, “I always enjoy good night’s sheep.”

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: THE WORLD CUP

German World Cup PlayersThe end of this year's World Cup competition left many fans without emotional resources. Some were left staring at TVs and hiring someone to periodically yell “goooooooooal”. ... The score of the Germany-Brazil semi-final match caused a lot of confusion. When it reached 7-0, I was chatting with a friend on Facebook. “How’s the game?” he wrote. I responded,  “Pretty good; Germany is ahead by a touchdown.” I’m not really sure what the over/under was on the game …. And as the sports calendar progresses, we move from the World Cup, in which many countries around the world participate, to this fall’s World Series, in which athletes from  many of the United States play

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: MAGNETO

MagnetoAuthorities are on the lookout for the Brazilian World Cup Soccer team, believed to be missing. The men who showed up for this week’s loss to Germany are presumed to be imposters. It has been extremely difficult to track their whereabouts. Initial efforts have produced the Holy Grail and the grave of Jimmy Hoffa, but failed in pinning down the athletes’ location. … The drama in the new movie, “Dawn of the Planet of the Apes,” is cut short after the humans win when the ape army is attacked by a simian strand of mange.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: QUEEN ELIZABETH

Queen Elizabeth IIEngland’s Queen Elizabeth, a fan of the hit TV show, visited the set of the “Game of Thrones” in Northern Ireland recently. After her visit, Prince Charles complained bitterly to his mom that never gets to play. Hey; he should be thankful her favorite show isn’t “Breaking Bad”. She might let him play that. … Apparently 39 individuals cashed in on bets that Uruguay soccer player Luis Suarez would bite someone during the World Cup. He bit Italy's Giorgio Chiellini during their match.  American baseball fans say Suarez was frustrated with the general lack of action in soccer.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: GM'S BARRA

Mary Barra, General MotorsGeneral Motors has recalled all its cars. "We decided it would just be simpler," CEO Mary Barra said after a series of recalls on new manufactures. The U.S. government is considering combating Sunni militants in Iraq by giving each of them a new G.M. automobile, sort of an automotive version of the I.E.D. (improvised explosive device). ...  I have always been put off at the thought of running a marathon. An event in which the first guy who tried it died just never struck me as a good idea.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: SPIDERMAN

spidermanIn the upcoming film, "Spiderman, The Later Years", Spidey plunges to death when his faltering ability to generate new strands of web fails him as he swings between skyscrapers. One of his progeny says sadly, "It was his hearing that killed him. We told him not to go up anymore. He thought we said he can't get it up anymore and just laughed." His children, split between those with spider powers and those without, debate traditional burial or wrapping him in silk and sucking the body dry.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: KIM AND WHO?

Kanye West and Kim KardashianSee that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are getting married. So nice to see the young folks film their love life, have children, get married and grow up. That is the order isn't it? They did grow up, didn't they? ... Modern math: How many Jenners does it take to equal one Kardashian? Three Kardashians plus six Jenners equal how much real talent? ... Mildly scalded a thigh and nearby parts when the bottom fell out of a hot cup of tea while I was seated. No real damage done, although I thought about getting someone to kiss it and make it better, but figured that might set me back a couple of hundred bucks.

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: EMINEM

EminemRapper Eminem, the most famous Mathers since Jerry, released a Mother's Day album with a tearful rendition of the touching song, "Yo, ma."  Some disappointed classical music fans downloaded the tunes, thinking they were by Yo Yo  Ma.... United has a series of ads on airport jetways, including one labeled "Flyer Friendly", a happy passenger in a cushioned commodious seat being served a wine glass and what looks like a cup of nuts. The headline should have been "Don't You Wish You Could Afford First Class, Peasant?"

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: 24

Kiefer, Sutherland, There are predictions that we will have self-navigating, self-diagnosing cars. This could be a real problem if combined with voice assistant technology. Cars are probably like people—as they age they get cranky: "My joints are stiff. Don't hit the break so hard, it's tender. Hey, if you think this is fun, change your own oil." ... Saw an honest TV add this week. It said the product "is available at these fine retailers near you" and it then added "and at these crappy stores too."

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RANDOM THOUGHTS: LARRY KING

Larry KingThe Public Broadcasting Service is going to bring back its classic mini-series "The Six Wives of Henry the Eighth", followed by the modern classic, "The Eight Wives of Larry King." .. In other celebrity news, a remake of "A Picture of Dorian Gray", the hideous painting hidden in the title character's closet, which shows the impact of a dissolute life, will be played by Rolling Stone Keith Richards. ... A video of elephants accidentally drunk on fermented native fruit at a South African preserve is making the rounds of the web.

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